Blog post originally written 21/11/15
Weekends are hard sometimes, particularly when you are flying solo. My girls do a lot of sporty classes; swimming, trampolining, ballet etc. On Saturdays it’s especially busy, with hubby working all day I also feel that my sole aim is to tire the girls out so that they sleep well and may grant us the rare occurrence of a lie-in on Sunday morning well we can live in hope!
Today was no exception and my eldest after doing her trampolining was then getting ready for swimming. I’d like to say a hot changing room added to the situation but to be frank we hit meltdown with spectacular fireworks. She really did dig her heals in and was refusing to co-operate. Needless to say there was a stalemate on both our parts. When I look back it’s hard to see who was the adult. Her sister who is 4 was very good at trying to keep up with the threats and compromises. “So are we going home now mummy?” “I’ll still be going to the party won’t I?” And ” so we’re staying are we?”
I feel utterly awful, I had to check my behaviour when another parent came into the changing area and I know it’s hard when you hear others in this situation.
After 15 minutes thankfully we managed to work out a compromise which meant getting my daughter to the poolside and leaving her to help her brilliant swimming teacher. Passing the same mum who had overheard everything, I could have kept my head down. In the past that’s exactly what I would’ve done whilst thinking she was judging me harshly on my parenting. (That’s the type of paranoid thoughts I had with my Pnd). Instead I held my head high whilst trying to hold back the tears said, ” compromise reached” with a sigh. She could’ve said nothing and smiled but instead she said “it’s hard isn’t it, you’re doing an amazing job”
And yes by that time I was ready to throw in that swimming towel and go! Tears were blinked back and with a sigh of relief my eldest joined her swimming class.
It’s that kind word at the right moment that changes everything. I’m sure you’ve been on both those sides and experienced or witnessed one or two parenting situations. And whilst gladly thanking your lucky stars it’s not you, but by sharing a kind word it can make that parent feel a whole load better about themselves.
So next time you see a parent having a difficult time. Tell them they’re doing a great job. Pass on the mummy kindness.