There are very few friends who I see regularly (I mean in my local area) who knew me pre-baby.
Don’t get me wrong I have lots of friends and love them all very dearly. What ever brought you together give you that bond that binds you in quite a special way.
I have a strong set of fabulous best friends who are scattered around the country who I know I can call upon at any time. I have very few long term friends who I am still in touch with that knew me in my school days, though some which, only recently, to my absolute joy we have reconnected via social media.
A handful of great friends who knew me as I started out in my work life up north. Friends which have shared huge mind blowing travel experiences with and an amazing set of mummy friends who I only really got to know when I had a bump or a baby.
All of whom I love dearly and are very special to me. I always try to connect to everyone in some way via phone call, text, messenger, social media, on a regular basis but with everyone having families and commitments of their own it’s often a tricky matter of actually meeting up and catching up face to face. No matter how many times you “chat” to them nothing beats actually giving them a huge hug and catching up over dinner or coffee.
This week I had just that. It had been long, far too long since we had met up. When we worked it out;18 months too long!!! This dinner arrangement had taken pretty much 3months in organising; family diaries and husbands work commitments. This was one dinner date which we were not going to reschedule again!
We had met with our rather large bumps 7yrs ago whilst bouncing ridiculously on a yoga ball and our friendship blossomed. When we had our babies we met frequently. She didn’t like leaving the house with her baby and I couldn’t wait to get out. Both of us struggling in our own ways with becoming mummies for the first time. We could be more open with each other than with our other friends who knew us pre-baby as we didn’t have to hide anything. Didn’t have to pretend everything was alright, don’t have to fake that smile and say we were fine or claim we were enjoying these precious moments. We could just “be”.
Our friendship continued through the rocky journey of planning and having second children and soon enough (too soon) we could only see each other in the school holidays. Inevitably this is where it can get tricky, our children don’t know each other well enough to play together so we found it easier to continue to meet in the evenings. Giving us the added bonus of a night out, child free and uninterrupted conversation and undivided attention could be given to properly catching up with each other.
These moment with friends both near and far are very special to me; catching up, laughing, sharing stories, proudly sharing our children’s achievements. I truly see it as part of my “self-care” package. And no matter how infrequent these catch ups are its always like I just saw them yesterday.
That’s how I know that the friendship will stand the test of time and that’s how I fill myself up with a “little bit of positive”.