There are some mums who totally go overboard with the whole magic, make believe and fairy dust. Ensuring Santa has glitter snow footprints and tooth fairies which write beautiful notes and there are others who scrabble together one minute before they go to bed to place a coin underneath their child’s pillow and some for who the magic never really happened when they were young so do the same with their children. For all of these, it’s okay to be doing what you do.
I however fall into the “totally over the top fairy dust sprinkling crazy mum” for whom all other mums throw their hands up in despair and say “there’s always one who has to go too far!” Yep that’s me, I am my own worst enemy and another mothers nightmare. I don’t think I’m over compensating for a lack of magic memories in my own childhood as I never did find the stash of special Santa wrapping paper my mum would use. Equally I don’t recall the day I found out that Santa or the tooth fairy didn’t exist, just merely remember pretending to believe for the sake of my younger brother.
So here I am a crazy fairy dust welding mum pretending there’s a dummy fairy, sleep fairy, tooth fairy, Santa, and magic elves for the 24 days in December causing mischief! I mean it’s enough to make a perfectly amazing mum hold her head in her hands saying I can’t compete with this. I didn’t intend to do this, or set a precedent for others to aspire or feel guilty about in equal measure. I just do it. I have to confess I do love the look of wonderment on my children’s faces and I know that in only a few short years they will be of an age when they and their friends don’t believe and it certainly won’t be cool to admit even if you half believe.
So I’m making the most of it and keeping the glitter makers in business!
However there came a day when it really did come and bite me on the ass. A morning that is etched in my memory as a day that truly rocked our little family unit, all because of a sprinkle of fairy dust.
Now like I said I like to go OTT about magical things, so now my eldest daughter is of an age when her teeth are falling out, the tooth fairy visits are frequent. This night was no exception. So with the tooth carefully wrapped in tissue and placed under her pillow, the expectation was already high. Her little sister is longing for her teeth to wobble and is a little sad that she is missing out on these magical moments too. Hence my little concocted story I told her. The tooth fairy still visits you and she checks that your teeth are nice and clean too. This story also helped her take a more active role in her teeth cleaning as we had been lacking in enthusiasm for this of late.
With that they both went to bed, once asleep I then dutifully placed the little tooth fairy note and coin under the pillow of the top bunk with a sprinkling of glitter and on the bottom bunk where the youngest sleeps I placed a small sprinkling of glitter too so she would know that the fairy had visited her too.
When she woke in the morning she was so excited to come and tell us that the fairy had visited her bed too and left her glitter, it filled my heart.
Now my youngest sleeps like a statue where as my eldest flails her arms and moves quite a lot in her sleep; and here where the chain of events unfolded. Once the eldest had woken up she had already knocked her tooth fairy note on the floor and in doing so saw the glitter on her sisters bed, and thought that it was the glitter from her tooth fairy visit in her bed. Wailing and crying ensued. Explanations were given but it wasn’t enough. We were now into full on crying hysterics. At this point it was probably around 6.50 on a school day week day morning and I was in the middle of getting dressed. Realising this was getting out of hand hubby and I were tag teaming trying to take control of the situation whilst reassuring the youngest one that it’s okay. This wasn’t working and all of us were feeling the stress and anxiety kicking in.
Somehow amidst the crying chaos I managed to salvage both fairy dust portions into pots so that once the situation had calmed down it wouldn’t kick off again.
Needless to say I handled things badly and was very emotional. Hubby got fed up and both children were crying. I totally lost it and sat sobbing holding onto my youngest who was now comforting me. It took seeing me so upset by this for my eldest to finally calm down and for my husband to know that he could now leave mentally bruised household to go to work. I’m sure he got to the top of our road and just thought to himself “what the hell just happened then?!!”
I was an emotional mess. The girls was very subdued over breakfast and the school run and I just donned my winter hat and strode purposely and quickly in and out of the school gates not wanting to face anyone. I was so emotionally raw from that mornings events I just came home and went back to bed exhausted.
Come school pick up time I wanted to speak to the girls more calmly about the morning so did so. My eldest in particular wanted just to forget it. Then when it came to bedtime they spotted the pots of fairy dust that I had kept and wanted to take them to bed with them. I agreed. My youngest looked in her pot and promptly tipped it over the carpet…I was lost for words!! Then my eldest settled herself in bed and saw that the cats were at the bottom of her bed and said that they should have some fairy dust too. She then started to sprinkle the fairy dust over the cats. I mean seriously I literally think I imploded right there. I was so gobsmacked that I just got the giggles in a hysterical kind of way.
But there it is. The beast that is the curse of the maker of magical memories. Never underestimate the importance of fairy dust and always assume that there’s more fairy dust where that came from.
I think internally I’m still reeling from that morning which was horrendous, trying to come to terms with what I want to create for my children with the balance that they displayed that evening of it really doesn’t matter and it’s not important. Whether I will ever strike that balance I don’t know all I know is I need to come up with a plan and quick because the next tooth is wobbling….
Footnote: I have a dear Great-Uncle who once told me off for creating this magical make-believe for my children. He said “there is enough wonder in the natural world, teach them that and enjoy watching them discover it.” He is a wise man and I should definitely listen to his advice.