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A close friend of mine has suffered with depression most of her adult life. To look at her you would never know, to speak to her you could never tell. This week she shared with me such a powerful poem about her deepest feelings. With her permission I am sharing it with you.

Here it is

Life
Thousands of words, many left unsaid
Mulling around in my crazy head.
I sometimes can’t seem to do right for doing wrong.
Often wonder where I really belong?

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

For those in the know, it is hard to say
What they are thinking about you today.
My mind often doing overtime
As I’d committed a serious crime.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

Often I try and put the past behind
But this world can be so unkind
No matter what I am going through
My thoughts are of friends and how they do.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

Regrets have been many and opportunities seem few
It doesn’t matter whatever i do
The demons won’t leave me alone to try
And get through a day without a cry.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

Yes, I have often been on the edge,
Not yet fallen, though clung to the edge.
“Get a grip”, “pull yourself together”, are often said,
Difficult when you think you are better off dead.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

Face to face talks are often few,
If only friends really knew.
The deep pain contained inside,
Instead of “I’m fine”, often lied.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

Often the bottle of frustration spills,
As I battle with my inner battle of wills.
Debating and overthinking in my brain,
Is it true? Am I going insane?

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

I often wish the solution was clear,
And that I could be guided by someone near.
Sometimes a hug is all I need,
Though often my soul is left to bleed.

I feel so alone in a crowded place,
However, I don’t want people in my face
Often I scream and shout inside
Through my smile, I often hide.

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